


Heart Of Courage

by fantasycloud



Category: Reign (TV), The 100 (TV)
Genre: Alternative Universe - Kingdom, Angst, Attempted Murder, Brutality, Clexa, Death, Death Threats, F/F, Fluff and Smut, Graphic Description, Injury, Original Character Death(s), Problems, Romance, Slow Burn, Stress, Treason, Violence, reign - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-10-11
Updated: 2016-07-06
Packaged: 2018-04-25 18:25:15
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 18,765
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4971631
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fantasycloud/pseuds/fantasycloud
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>France, 1557. Lexa, Queen of Scots, has been hidden away at a convent since age 9. Engaged to the future Queen of France since childhood, she awaits her return to the French Court. But when she enters its gates and faces her reality, she realizes that much has changed. It is her duty as a Queen to ensure her country’s safety, and that might be harder than she thought. </p><p>Will she be able to win back Clarke’s heart?</p><p>Will she be able to even maintain her life when she has so many enemies?</p><p>OR</p><p>The crossover between The 100 and Reign.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. She's coming

**Author's Note:**

> Hello everyone! I have chosen to start another fanfic because this really spoke to me. I will still continue writing Teach Me Tonight, but I will write on this as well so you will have to be patient with me ;)
> 
> This idea is inspired by the premier of the third season of Reign, and note that this is a universe where marriage between two women is normal. I hope that you will like it and that you share your thoughts or questions with me in the comment section below. 
> 
> If anyone want publication updates or wants to ask me something I will post them/you can ask them on my tumblr, @minnaaleheim 
> 
> Enjoy! - fantasycloud

It began with white roses, white as snow. White as milk and white as innocence.

It began with a tree, a tree with many roses. A tree surrounded of roses.

It began with a drop of red, red as wine. Red as hate and red as blood.

It had taken him so many years to come to this hauntingly beautiful place, but he knew that it was necessary. He could feel it. He could hear the whispers from it in his sleep. He shrugged his shoulders slightly before continuing his stride over the green grass. His steps were soft, quiet as the wind, gracious like a shadow. But of course, he had been trained to do so as soon as he could walk and speak.

The way to the tree seemed to stretch out to miles instead of meters. He could feel its tether it had on him, it was dragging his feet forward. It was latched around his heart, threatening to rip it out if he did not come closer. So he moved his legs, willed them forward and swallowed hard.

It is just a tree, he told himself. Completely harmless. But he knew the truth. If this tree was harmless, then the most dangerous creature on earth would be considered cute.

He drew a deep breath before stepping into the circle that surrounded the tree, a circle made of flower petals. They were like glimmering diamonds laying on the grass, its white color catching the sun’s light. But his stare was fixed elsewhere.

It was fixed on something that the ordinary eye would not catch.

It was fixed on something that promised his nightmares existence come to life.

It was fixed on a drop of blood.

“She’s coming,” he gasped, the last flicker of hope died within him when the drop of blood touched the ground and landed on the white flower petals.

* * *

****She could feel the cold hard surface of the stone floor through the thin material of her dress. Her feet were stacked upon each other under the skirt, a failed attempt to keep them from freezing. Her arms were draped around her knees, hugging them tightly to her chest. Her hair was loose, hanging carelessly around her shoulders and down her back, the one small braid on her right side dangling in front of her face.

Lexa sat in a window, looking out over the garden that she had become so used to. It sprawled of life, there was so much life everywhere. Green in the trees, green on the ground. Seeing the children that sprinted around on the grass with big smiles brought a warmness to her soul unlike anything else. Watching the sunshine battling with the shadows, and winning. Everything here always seemed perfect.

She withdrew her look out the window to instead let it float around her room. It was very simple, her room. It only consisted of a bed, a bookshelf and a desk. But that was enough, because the pillow in her bed bore the scent of safety, on the bookshelf stood some of her favorite books and in the desk lay so many memories and letters. She would not trade any of these things. But what she enjoyed the most in her room was the window that she was currently sitting in.

She cared for it the most because it was the perfect spot for everything. Reading, drawing, thinking. She could sit here all day and just do nothing except looking out of the window that overlooked the main big garden. It was also the first place she came to like about this place, the only place that she found comfort in.

A hard knock on the door brought her to the now. She turned her head towards the wooden door and cleared her throat.

”Come in!”

The second later she heard the handle being turned around and in came sister Helena. She was one of the sisters at the convent who had been assigned to look after Lexa at her stay here. Right now she had on a brown dress that went all the way down to her ankles and over it she had a white apron that enclosed her face too. Around her neck there hang a necklace, a long chain that went down over her chest with a cross dangling from its end.

”Lexa, lunch is ready, come and eat.”

She could hear the worry in her voice, sister Helena had tried really hard not to be overly concerned about her when she began to spent more time on her room, but just today her emotions betrayed her. But Lexa pretended not to notice and only nodded.

”I will be down shortly.”

Sister Helena nodded her head and lingered on the doorstep a moment before turning around and closing the door quietly behind her. Lexa sighed and put her chin on her knees, who were still hugged tightly to her chest, and closed her eyes.

In her dreams she was not the Queen of Scots. In her dreams she was not the future Queen of France. In her dreams she was an ordinary girl. A girl with problems such as a cute girl down the street or which clothes to wear. She did not want to be the Queen of two nations, only saying her title out loud made her stomach clench into knots.

But she did not have a choice. And it was not like she did not want it because she did not want to help her people, because that she did, she only did not wish for the kind of life that she was currently living. She constantly was looking over her shoulder, at the age of fifteen she had had to encounter four murder attempts, and there was more of those to come. The idea of knowing that this day could be her last without her having to really live it for herself was tearing her apart.

But she loved her people, so none of that mattered. She had to overcome those ridiculous thoughts she told herself every day, all day long, but it was hard. Accepting the fact that she would have to give up her freedom for her duty was going to take a while.

She slowly raised from her spot, stretching her stiff legs until she could feel the blood starting to flow through them again before walking across her room and out the door. She was not wearing any shoes or socks, so she went barefoot. The cold floor still gave her cold chills that radiated through her body, but on the plus side, she did not make a sound. She loved not being able to be heard. Hide and seek used to be her favorite game as a child, she loved it because she moved so quietly that no one could ever find her. They said that she was a shadow, not a human. She did not correct them, she would happily be a shadow.

She had now been six years in the convent, she had the map of the entire castle in her head and she knew every smell. Right now the smell of freshly cut grass and the sweet smell of flowers was seeping through an open window, making it mix with the smells of dust and old books. She could smell the porridge that was being made in the kitchen, but she would know what they were having for lunch even without the smell. They always had porridge for lunch.

When she walked into the dining room everyone was already seated, the only empty seat remained at the very end of the table. No one looked up at her when she entered the room and no one looked up when she sat down. She was glad, she hated being in the center of it all. Everyone talked with each other with positive tones, some excited and some driven by a passion.

She heard snippets of conversations around her. Someone talked about how the goal that Gemma scored was perfect. Another one talked about how nicely the flowers were growing, considering that it was only May still. She heard Addison tell Victorie that she had found a new book in the library that was hidden behind a shelf and that she was loving it.

This was what life was supposed to be for a fifteen year old girl. A girl so young should not be troubled with the weight of decisions that could lead to thousands of deaths. The lone thought of placing an order that would lead to such a drastic aftermath made her hands sweat and her heart pound furiously.

But suddenly her depressing thoughts were interrupted when she heard one of the sisters cough. She turned around and saw sister Juliette look at her with an intense stare, a stare that made her tempted to shrink back into her chair. A white substance began bubbling out of her mouth like a waterfall, and the white was soon mixed with red. She coughed once again and it came out strangled. Then Lexa noticed that red circles had begun forming at the sides of her headdress, right where her ears were seated underneath it.

She did not know what to do. She only watched in panic as the sister slowly choked to death, as so many others. She noticed how they all had stopped their chats, but it was as if time had stopped. Well, time was pressed on play again when sister Juliette coughed one last time, spluttering blood on the table before falling face first in her plate.

The first scream came from young Annabeth, she was only ten. Her hands came up to her mouth and Lexa could spot the tears and the fear in her eyes. She was about to stretch out her hand to lay it on the shaking girl’s shoulder when more screams erupted. The second after sister Helena was at her side, ripping the plate of porridge forcefully from her hands, drawing Lexa back to the reality when the burning feeling in her hands flamed up.

”Save Lexa!”

”Take that plate away!”

Orders came from everywhere, but it was hard to register everyone when suddenly two hands closed around her arms and yanked her up from the table. The hands were firm against her arms, hugging her tightly to the owners chest like she was ready to fight off any threat that came her way. She succeeded with throwing a look behind her and found, of course, sister Helena. But when that came through, her own emotions slipped out.

First came the panic, it made her whole body shake and she could feel the cold hand that gripped tight at her heart. The ache spread throughout her body like a fire, making her bones become liquid.

Then came the fear, making her heart to race and her breathing turn into hyperventilation. She drew in deep breaths through her mouth, but hearing them sizzle back out just as quickly did not make her feel better. She could hear the blood flowing through her veins in her ears, making her vision sway.

At last came the anger. It rippled through her body as fast as a storm, drawing in and hitting her with its lightning. The electricity was constant, making her eyes send shocks where ever she looked. It felt like the heat was threatening to swallow her alive.

What happened here will not stand. She would not have her enemies, the english, threaten her in her own home. Now they have killed one of the kindest souls, and now they would pay. She set her jaw tightly as her body was being dragged out of the dining room and into the main hallway. When sister Helena turned to her she paused for a second, watching the change in the fifteen year old girl and smiled sadly.

”You are ready, child. You are no longer the girl that came here. You are nearly a woman.”

”Sister Helena, what does this mean? Why would they kill sister Juliette?”

”Lexa, your food has been tasted by others since you left your mother’s breast, making sure that it would not be poisoned. Sister Juliette knew what she was getting into, she would do anything for her queen.”

”What did you mean with saying that I am ready?” She could feel the new demanding tone in her voice, but the ghost of the child still lingered in the background. She chose to ignore that though and focused on the answer.

”I mean, that you are ready to go back to the French Court. They are already on their way, with the attempt on your life it is not safe for you here anymore. You will be safer there.”

Sister Helena took Lexa’s hands in her own and squeezed them tightly. Through them it flowed greatness, it flowed understanding, it flowed hope. The touch was so simple but yet, so intimate. They looked into each other’s eyes, sister Helena with a sad smile on her lips and Lexa’s which was formed in a straight line.

In that moment Lexa understood. She finally understood. She understood why she had to give up her freedom. She understood why so many kings and queens before her had come to the same conclusion as she had. She meant something to her people. She was a person who many others poured their hopes and dreams into. She was a person who other people would fight and die for if that meant their people was safe. She was the symbol of peace. She was born for this.

And she would die before anyone took that from her.

That realization made the following hours the most calm hours she had ever had here. All she felt was calm. Calm about her position, calm about the choices that she was about to make and calm about leaving this place. She had after all lived here for the past six years, it was home for her.

But she had another home waiting for her. Her future home with her future fiancé. Clarke Griffin. She had not seen her since she was nine years old and taken to the convent. Her memory was faded, but she remembers her beautiful golden hair and her bright blue eyes. She remembers her spirit and her compassion. She remembers how beautiful her laugh sounded and how concentrated she used to be when she painted. Okay, so maybe she remembered her a lot, but she surely would have changed. Lexa had changed after all.

When she left she was a lanky girl on wobbly knees and wild brown hair. She had an innocence about her that only a child could have, and she laughed a lot more. Now she was tall, and her body had grown. Muscles stretched under her skin on her legs, she had become slightly toned because of all the hours she spent outside, her hair she had learned to tame with help of little braids. She had gotten breasts and curves. The innocence was gone, the weight of troubled decisions lay upon her shoulders now instead of it. She had not laughed in several months.

The night came fast, she lay crawled beneath the covers and just breathed in the smell that had become home to her, never tireing of it. It helped her think straight, or not to think at all. She lay and looked up at the sky through her window, seeing all of the stars that she had memorized and seeing some more. She noticed some pictures of them in the sky, but som was cut off by the end of the window. She let out a long breath, turning so that she was laying on her back. She clasped her hands on her stomach and tried to smother the butterflies that currently had taken up residency in there. But she was unsuccessful. They continued raging in there until the sun’s first light became visible, making the sky turn into a soft baby pink color.

She had laid awake all night, and yet she was still not tired. Her body was still alive with those feelings from the day before, her mind still haunted of the poisoned sister. But she had promised a thousand times to herself under the night that her sacrifice would not be in vain. She would bring peace or die trying.

She rose from the bed without a sound and went straight forward to the stool in the corner, a dark green dress hung over its back with an even darker green cape over it. The dress had black details embroidered over the chest, small glittering black stones were there as well. On the cape it was a matching clasp, a black stone, though slightly bigger, with black details embroidered in it. The dress fell in waves around her legs and Lexa could feel it tightly hug her waist and stomach. The material was of the finest silk she realized and she reached a hand down and let it wander over the soft material. To match the rest of the outfit she had a black necklace with a green stone in the middle, the same color as her eyes. In her hair a crown sat among her braids, making her title hard to forget.

It was a while ago that she had been wearing such a nice dress, she had been wearing sheats compared to this. She sucked in a breath and hated they way that she could not breath in a deep one. She had to be forced to take shallow, short ones instead and it was driving her mad. The shoes was not so bad, they were flats and actually really comfortable. She had had to put on make up, a product she had nearly forgotten. She hated the way it clouded her sight, forming black dots around it and the substance on her lips only made her hair stick in it.

But she did not complain, not once. She let the two nuns that were dressing her do their job and focused on her own. Sitting still.

When she was done it was time to go. She did not bring anything here so she had not been needed to pack a bag for her departure. She stood in her room, looking around it one final time, her gaze lingering on the spot in the window before turning around and closing the door behind her. She walked so quickly away from it that the cape started to fly behind her. But she suspected that if she did not put enough distance between it and herself, she would feel the need of looking back, and she could not afford that. She could not afford her looking back on her past, she needed to be in the now and in the future. So she clenched her hands and continued walking with a high speed through the castle.

Outside the sun blinded her at first, not expecting its assault on her eyes, but once they had gotten used to the brightness she could feel her heart growing two sizes at the sight before her.

Outside they had all come together to see her off. Every last one of them, even the little ones that had no idea of what was going on. They all smiled at her, their last gift to her. But this was her first gift to them in a way, now she left to rule. She left to rule for them. She could feel her determination in her eyes, she would bring peace.

All the faces that she had learned to memorize all bore the same sad smiles upon their faces, and in their eyes she could see their hope. She took her time and looked into all of their eyes, making sure that no one was forgotten. Because no one would, these people had shown her what good was. They had shown her true peace and taught her that it is worth fighting for. She would never forget those things.

At the end of line of friendly faces stood sister Helena. She had on her usual brown dress and white apron, her hair invisible underneath her headdress. But around her neck something was missing. Her cross was no longer there, dangling around her neck as it use to. Lexa scanned her again, trying to see if it was visible at her neck, but with no luck. She looked up at sister Helena who watched her with a tender feeling in her eyes. She then struck out her hand, and in was what she was searching for.

”Here child. Take this as a reminder of what you have learned here.”

She took it from her outstretched hand with a slow motion, making sure to take her time so that she could be entirely sure of her decision. But sister Helena only smiled. So when she took it, her hand did not tremble once. She felt the chain’s warm surface in her hand, she felt the cross that dug into her hand when she clenched it around the necklace.

”I do not know if I am ready.”

”To leave here or to marry the future Queen of France?”

”Both. I hoped that I could have gone back to Scotland one last time.”

”Your friends from Scotland will be there, friends that you have known your whole life. Besides, you will be safer at the French Court. You are nearly a woman, and so is Clarke. It is time. You will wed young Clarke someday soon. For your faith, for your people. For Scotland. She will love you.”

”I am not sure that matters.”

”It does to you.”

Her words may have a little truth in them, but not much. She would do anything for her people, even be wed to a person who did not love her. But she did not share her thoughts with her, she only bent down and gave her one last hug. Her arms encircled her body and said her last silent goodbye to a person that had become close to a third mother for her. She felt sister Helena squeeze her arms a little, her response was as silent as Lexa’s. But too soon the hug was over and one of the guards that stood with the awaiting carriage held out a hand to her.

”Your Majesty,” he said with a bow. She swallowed but took it with the hand that was not clutching the chain and took a step up on the steps that led into the carriage. But now she could not help it. She owed her third family a last glance.

She nearly regretted it. The sun was yet again battling with the darkness, playing with the hair of the children. The green colors everywhere made the place glow in the light, making it seem like a fairytale. The look of love on the people’s faces was so strong that her heart clenched at the sight. But she swallowed and nodded once before stepping into the carriage that would bring her back to her second home. The doors closed firmly behind her and she now sat in darkness, the only light that came through was the sunlight through the closed curtains. She let out a breath and leaned her head on the wall, closing her eyes and wished that they would know that she would not forget them.

She could feel the tears behind her closed eyelids, but she refused to acknowledge them. She had not cried in years and she wished to uphold that. So instead she clenched her nails into the palms of her hand and tried focusing on that pain instead of the one in her chest. But at that motion her left hand was stopped by a hard object, and she instantly became reminded of the sisters last gift. She took out the necklace and inspected it closely. It was beautiful, she had always thought that. It bore a meaning to it. She guided it over her head and felt it lay upon her chest, making itself home. She smiled at how good it fit around her, and she made a promise of never taking it off.

The ride to the French Court was tortuously slow and Lexa had become bored within the first hour. They had now been on the road for at least four and she started to become restless. She had since long abandoned the thought of trying to just sit patiently, she now sat on the edge of the cushioned bench and was looking out the window. She had drawn back the curtains and just enjoyed the sunlight. She could feel the warmth in the air, the summer was coming, promising new beginnings. She smiled when she saw a deer in the forest jump around with its fawn. They looked so peaceful, like they had no care in the world.

She continued looking out the window for another two hours before any sign of human life appeared. They were entering a village close to the castle she heard her guards say and she was told to close the curtains. There could be those here who wanted her dead, she never knew, so she followed his orders reluctantly. She does not follow others orders lightly, especially if the ones that gives her them are beneath her. Because, she is a Queen after all.

She could tell that they were there when they drove past the big black iron gates. They were meant to be intimidating, but Lexa had always found them as if they were taken from a fairytale. Around its bars clung roses and different kinds of plants, making it smell lovely too. But what they seemed to promise was wrong, this place was nothing like a fairytale. This place consisted of hatred and betrayal and crushed dreams.

They went past an entire meadow before reaching the castle itself and Lexa dared a peek out the window and the second she did just that Lexa caught herself with her jaw hanging loose.

The castle seemed bigger, she had forgotten its many towers and its big windows. She had forgotten how many people that seemed to live there as well, seeing as they all were lined up on the outside on either side of the way of gravel. But like that she was taken back to the reality and she quickly dashed away from the window. Now that she had accepted being a Queen, she must act like one. Queens do not get excited of looking out a window, she lectured herself.

The carriage came to a stop and she heard only silence. She swallowed her nervousness and braced herself before she would have to leave. Because when she left, her old self was gone.

The door suddenly opened and outside a guard had his hand outstretched out for her.

“Your Majesty,” he said with a light bow on his head, much alike the one at the convent, and she took it after at second. She rose from her seat and set one of her feet on the first step.

The first thing that hit her was the smell. The air was full of the scent of flowers, grass and saltiness. With it a bomb of memories hit her, memories from when she was a child. Her mouth twitched a little, bit she willed it still.

The second thing that hit her was the way that everyone looked at her. They looked at her with hope, respect and even with fear. Because that is what she was. She is the bringer of all those things, and many more.

The third thing that hit her was the way her four best friends stood a bit to the side. She noticed that they barely could contain themselves, and she could not hide her smile now. It stretched over her stiff cheeks and at that she could hear them squeal.

She took the remaining two steps to the ground and then walked over to them and looked into each of their faces.

Anya’s face looked as she remembered, face set and emotions on lockdown. Her hair was up in braids and she had her hands clasped in front of her.

Octavia had changed, every evidence gone of her ever being a child. She had become even more striking than before, and Lexa had thought that that was impossible.

Raven was much the same, her hair was up in a ponytail, not having a care in the world. The playful glint in her eyes was still left and Lexa smiled even bigger at that.

Indra was the one of them that had changed the most. In her eyes only seriousness showed, any trace of the laughing girl that she had known was gone. Her hair had been cut short and she stood her ground.

Lexa reached them and before she could do anything they all bowed their heads, but when they came up again Lexa actually laughed and held out her arms. They matched her sounds and everyone stood in a circle, hugging each other. This was the happiest she had felt in a while, seeing her friends again after so long was exciting. Only one thing made her sad though, and that was that she had not been able to be with them when they grew up. They were all women now, at least if she looked at their bodies. They had been able to go through with it together, and that stung a bit.

“I cannot believe this day finally came,” she heard Octavia say and she laughed a little. “We have missed you so much!”

“And I have missed all of you too,” she returned and watched as the slightly shorter girl practically shone.

She turned her eyes to what was happening behind the girl’s backs, and she smiled a little to herself. Of course this would happen.

“Raven, say that you stopped Octavia from bringing that much clothes?”

Because behind them, case after case were being drawn out of their carriage and the servants who did it looked out of breath. She could hear Octavia laugh and the sound sounded like music in her ears. But that was like a wake up call, reminding her that they  were not alone.

She turned around and walked a few steps towards the awaiting mass of people, and awaited the king and queen like the rest of them. She knew the drill, when someone important came here, before they stepped inside the castle’s walls they had to be greeted by the royal’s. So that was what she did. And she did not have to wait long.

The sound of trumpets rang in her ears and she could hear someone call out “His royal highness, King Jake the second, and Queen Abby!” After that everyone in the mass bent down to their knees in a bow, showing their respect. Well, if they did not bow, they would be put in jail, so it was not really a choice, but the people here really cared for them. Or that was the truth when she left at least.

“I don’t see Clarke, isn’t she supposed to be here?” she heard Anya say behind her back to their friends, but since they did not answer, she imagined that everyone had just shook their heads. But suddenly the sounds of footsteps on the side drew her attention and when she looked that way, her breath was caught in her throat.

It was Clarke, and she was not wrong. She had changed. A lot. For starters, she had gone from a child to a woman. Now she had soft curves and high cheekbones, her eyes was as blue as ever and her hair seemed to glow in the light. The light blue dress that she had on hugged her waist just as tightly as Lexa’s was hugging hers, but Clarke moved with ease. Around her neck was a simple silver chain with a blue stone in the middle. The stone really brought out her eyes, making them glimmer and sparkle in the light.

She had to remind herself to swallow, because she had seemed to forgotten. But she did not mind, because Clarke was here and she was beautiful. And more importantly, she was hers. So when Clarke was only a couple of meters away she offered her a genuine smile and bowed her head a little. Clarke smiled at that and mirrored her motion before continuing forward. She stopped in front of her and Lexa could not help but smirk.

“I am taller than you now.” At that Clarke let out a laugh and Lexa reminded herself of making her laugh as many times as possible.

“We have not seen each other in six years and that is what you say to me? You have not changed a bit,” she teased and Lexa felt a warm feeling spread throughout her body at the sound of her voice. It had become slightly deeper and it sounded like music in her ears.

“Well I could have said a polite hello, but when have we ever been polite to each other when we speak?”

Clarke laughed again but nodded and looked into her eyes. “It is good seeing you again Lexa, I have missed having you around.”

“You have?” She could feel her heartbeat increase its pace and heat started to creep up on her cheeks.

“Yes of course. No one have been willing to just look at the fireflies with me and no one lies awake with me and talks until the sun rise. No one understood me as you did.”

Lexa offered her a shy smile, because that was all that she could muster. She was speechless. She did not know that those things were so important to her, and now she put those things quickly in her mind. But before they could talk anymore the king and queen came up behind them, Jake with a warm smile and Abby with a forced one. She looked at her a second longer because Abby used to love her. But she shrugged it off and turned to the king and bowed for him, showing him her respect. But he only shook his head and held out his hand.

“Your Grace, it is a pleasure seeing you again.”

“Oh no your Grace, the pleasure is all mine and please, call me Lexa.”

He smiled at Lexa and she took his hand and before she knew it, she was being led into the castle. She casted a look behind her and saw that Clarke and her mother followed closely and her friends, who also were her ladies, followed behind them. She catched a glimpse of Clarke’s smile and returned it before turning her head around. They approached the big portal that led into the castle and she swallowed little before entering.

For the second time today, she felt her jaw hang open. But she quickly closed it and looked around instead. She really had forgotten the castle’s beauty and its details. It was filled with light and life and you could see directly into the room with the thrones. I will be sitting on one of those, she thought and smiled a little before turning her head to the right where she knew that her chambers would lie. And she was right because Jake released her hand and gestured for her to go there herself.

“It was good to see you again Lexa, I will see you for dinner,” he said, and with a final bow of his head, he and Abby walked the opposite way. She looked to Clarke who still bore a smile on her lips.

“I guess that I will see you at dinner then,” she said with a playful tone before bowing herself and followed her parents. Lexa smiled and was just about to turn around when Clarke called out to her. “Oh and Lexa?”

“Yeah?”

“It is good having you back. I meant it when I said that I have missed you.”

And with that she rounded a corner and Lexa was left standing in the hallway. She breathed out a breath that she apparently had been holding and noticed that her hands was shaking slightly. How could one sentence make her feel like she was flying? How could she have forgotten how easily Clarke could make her feel that way? She clenched her hands together and only looked up when she heard a low whistle behind her.

“Damn,” she heard Octavia say in a low voice and she could not agree more. **Damn.**


	2. The Ball

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone and let me just begin with I AM SO SORRY FOR THE DELAY! I know that it has been quite some time since I've updated any of my fics, but my life have been really demanding and this last two months have been really heavy for me so I hope that this 6K chapter will be a beginning for my redemption. 
> 
> And since I have written this chapter over a very long time with lots of time apart, I don't really know how it turned out, and I also know that the dialogues and the scenes are almost the same, but that ends soon because I have another story arc planned for this story, so have patience. (And please have in mind that I do not come from a english speaking country and that english is not my first language)
> 
> I don't know when the next Chapter will come up, but I assure you that it won't take two months. So with that, enjoy! - fantasycloud

_ “Clarke, wait!” _

 

_ They were running across green fields. Fields that seemed endless, green as the greenest apple. The sun’s light made the green shimmer in every shade of green possible. Light green, dark green. Even a green color that almost seemed white. The color green was everywhere, and not just on the ground, but in the trees as well. But the green landscape was nothing against the green color of her eyes. Because the green color in her eyes did not just display a color, they displayed emotions along with the green. They displayed happiness, excitement, joy and so much more. The green was layered with a thousand colors, and everyone of them shone. _

 

_ Their owner was chasing a girl with equally breathtaking eyes, but hers was blue. Blue as the sky, blue as the ocean. Even blue as ice. Her eyes was the most beautiful ones that Lexa had ever seen, and when she first saw them, it had been hard to look away. But if Lexa was honest to herself, she had a hard time looking away even now when they had known each other for almost three years. _

 

_ Their barefoot feet were hammering against the green ground, making a very visible way through the high grass. The brunette with the green eyes was chasing after the blonde with the blue eyes, her cheeks rosy and her breathing fast. Clarke’s legs was longer, making it hard for Lexa to follow. But she did her best and she would never let her golden hair out of her sight. But at the same time, doing that was impossible when everything around them was green. Her golden hair shone like the sun, and Lexa would never take her eyes of it. _

 

_ “Clarke!” she called out again, because she was starting to having trouble with her breathing. _

 

_ “Come on Lexa, we are almost there!” _

 

_ Clarke’s laughter echoed across the fields and now Lexa was loosing her breath for multiple reasons. So she braced herself and continued running, forcing her legs forward faster. But with Clarke’s legs longer, it was hard to keep up with her. But she clenched her mouth shut and showed that she could take on anything. Because if she could not even run properly, how could she then expect anyone to follow her? She was a queen after all, even if she was of the age nine. _

 

_ Clarke was starting to slow down and now Lexa knew where they were headed. How could she not have known before now? The blue ocean was glimmering in the distance and they were nearing a tree.  _

 

_ Their tree. _

 

_ And under it… _

 

_ “Clarke…” _

 

_ Lexa could not manage anything else, because she was speechless. Under the tree a red and white blanket lay with a basket upon it. Clarke had organized a picnic. And it had been a surprise. _

 

_ “Yeah, yeah, I know I’m awesome,” she joked and poked her in the stomach. That drew a giggle from the brunette and before she had time to blink she was being tickled. Now it was her laughter that ran through the fields, making music that no other animal not instrument could make. She ended up on the ground with the blonde on top of her, but suddenly she stopped. And when the tickling stopped, so did the laughter. And it was as if the world stopped spinning. All that existed was blue. Because Clarke was staring down at her with those incredible eyes of hers, and Lexa felt, yet again, stuck.  _

 

_ “Do not move, okay?” Clarke said in a low tone, and Lexa lay perfectly still. Her breathing almost stopped, her eyes stayed open. It was as if Clarke’s words were laws, laws that were unbreakable. _

 

_ Clarke lowered herself down, so low so that their noses were brushing together slightly and so they were sharing the same air. Lexa looked up in those blue eyes and swallowed. Clarke’s body was warm against hers and her hair fell around them as a curtain. _

 

_ “Clarke,” Lexa said, barely louder than a breath. Her heart was beating so fast, almost as fast a hummingbirds and she could do nothing to stop it. But Clarke only smiled and nudged her nose a bit with hers.  _

 

_ “Happy birthday Lex,” Clarke said just as low and just like that, she was gone. Lexa was confused for a second, all the sunlight spilled in in her eyes and all she could muster was squint her eyes at the sun. The warmth that Clarke’s body had provided was gone and she felt a shiver running through her body, even though the warm weather and with the sun standing high on the sky. _

 

_ “Clarke, where did you go?” _

 

_ “I am right here silly,” she heard to her left and tilted her head a bit. And of course, there she was. She had on a huge grin on her face and her eyes shone of amusement. Lexa had only rolled her eyes and stood up, still trying to catch her breath. _

 

_ “Is that the reason you brought me here? My birthday?” _

 

_ “Well, yes. Do you like it?” _

 

_ Lexa looked out over the picnic blanket and thought of how much time and effort she must have put into this, and it was all for her. So she nodded, speechless again, but Clarke nodded to herself and dragged Lexa down with her when she sat on the blanket. _

 

_ “I asked Lincoln to ready a basket for us,” she said and started unpacking it. _

 

_ Lincoln is one of the kitchen boys, he was just their age. Whenever he did not have work he would come and play with them. When people around the castle saw the three of them, they got these little grins on their faces and pretended to be terrified of them. Well, some of them might just be terrified because of the chaos that they created.  _

 

_ Today Lincoln had put down sandwiches, fruit, berries and, to Lexa’s joy, chocolate cake. _

 

_ Lexa squeled in happiness and went straight for it, having forgotten all about manners. Clarke laughed at her but took her peice of cake as well. _

 

_ “Really Lexa? Dessert before lunch?” _

 

_ “Oh put a sock in it, it is my birthday after all,” she said and Clarke rolled her eyes at her. Lexa only smirked and took a big bite out of it and moaned at the tate of the chocolate melting on her tounge. Clarke laughed at her and turned around to get a sandwich when she heard Lexa cough loudly. _

 

_ “That is what you get for eating dessert before lunch Lexa,” Clarke laughed and continued to poke around in the basket. But when she did not get an answer and only heard more coughes, she sighed and turned around. But at the sight of the thin stream of blood that came out of Lexa’s mouth, Clarke’s blood turned to ice. _

 

_ “Lexa?” she gasped and threw herself over to the girl. But Lexa could not answer. She only brought her hands up to her throat and it looked like her eyes was going to pop out of her skull. _

 

_ Then she collapsed and her whole body started convulsing and Clarke desperately tried to make it stop. She shook her, she held her, she yelled for her. But none of it helped. But after a couple of minutes, she had had enough. _

 

_ “Someone!” she yelled. “HELP!” She started to yell that over and over again, louder and louder. “Can somebody please help her? LEXA!” The tears clouded her vision as she looked down on the girl in her arms, the still shorter girl with the brown curls and green eyes and stared in horror at the white foam that came out of her mouth.  _

 

_ “Please Lexa,” she sobbed into her chest. “Please don’t die!” _

 

_ Then people came and  took her away, and all Clarke could do was sit outside of her room and cry. She cried all night and looked at the many people that came rushing in and out of her room, everytime she yelled at them, trying to force them to telling her what was going on. But all she got was silence. When morning came she found herself in her bed, she had apparently fallen asleep in the late hours and being taken back to her room. As soon as she figured that out she bolted out of room and ran to Lexa’s, but when she got there they said she was gone. _

 

_ Gone. _

 

_ Later she was told that she had been taken to a convent to recover, she had survived but that it was not safe for her there anymore. But she would come back. And that was all Clarke needed. She would come back. _

* * *

She had decided on exploring the castle, away from prying eyes. Every since she arrived people had stared at her and she just wanted to slip away for an hour or so. And besides, she wanted to do this, she hadn’t been in the castle since she left for the convent.

She was currently walking up the steps of a really old staircase and smiled when she remembered her and Clarke sprinting up these when they were children. 

All of these thoughts had occupied her mind completley so she wandered into a room without announcing herself, and now stood in a room filled with paintings. She stopped and tensed, but relaxed again in a matter of seconds. She recognized these, recognized they way the painter had drawn certain lines. She may have been just a child, but she was talented. Clarke was talented.

She walked around a bit, but stopped when her eyes caught something familiar. Clarke had painted a tree. And not just any tree.

She stepped closer and examined the painting just to be sure, but she was convinced it was the same tree. Their tree. The tree where they had spent so many days just laying around, talking or playng. But also the same tree under which Lexa was poisoned. She looked around the room and noticed the tree more than once elsewhere. But the one that caught her eye had more than just a tree in it. It was them. Clarke had drawn them.

It was that day, the day she was poisoned. But on the painting they looked peaceful, like nothing had disturbed them. Like everything had been alright. She was just about to get a closer look when she heard someone gasp behind her.

“What are you doing in here?” Lexa whirled around and found Clarke at the doorway.

“Sorry, I acidentally walked in here.” When Clarke made no sign of continuing the conversation, Lexa tried again. “Should I leave?” Clarke seemed to think about it, but shook her head.

She sighed and walked over to where Lexa stood and followed her earlier stare on the painting.

“That day,” she began, “That day when you got poisoned. I yelled for help for ages it felt like, no one came until you had stopped breathing.” Clarke swallowed and closed her eyes. “I was so scared,” she whispered. “I was scared that you were going to die. I sat outside of your room all night, but I guess that I fell asleep because I woke up the next day in my room, and I was told that you were gone.”

Lexa only watched Clarke as she told her about that day. When she was finished, Lexa aslo closed her eyes and remembered how she woke up. She was alone in a dark room, nothing but a bed in it. It didn’t matter on how hard she was banging on her door, no one came until the day after with food and water. Lexa’s only company that night was memory of her last moment with Clarke. And that memory had haunted her in her dreams ever since then.

“Your painting skill is as good as ever,” she said and judging by the way Clarke looked up at her with a small smile on her lips, that was the right thing to say.

“You do not think that it is childish?”

“No, why would I think that?”

“Because my mother does,” she said and sighed. “She thinks that I should be studying another language or learn how to play another instrument, but I already speak so many languages and I play several instruments, so I do not see her point very well. I mean, why is painting so different from an instrument?”

“Well, I think that this is worth continuing to do.”

“Thank you,” Clarke said and smiled. A smile that made her heart skip a beat. “But Lexa,” she said and her soft tone had disappeared and was now replaced by a cutting one. “Do not wander into any other room without premission from myself or my parents first, the next room might not be for you to be in.”

“I said that it was an accident-”

“And I say that there should be no more accidents,” she cut off. “I know that we might be married someday but we are not married now, you cannot just wander around, it isn’t suitable for a queen.”

Lexa stood quiet. Only one word had stuck from that. “ _ Might  _ be married someday? Clarke, we have been engaged since we were six years old. And if we do or do not get married is for the king to decide.”

“Well do you see my parents pushing for a wedding? No, because times have changed.”

“What do you mean?”

“It means that I soon have a country to think about. And right now an alliance with Scotland might destroy France. I have to think about all of my options.”

Lexa stood there for a moment before realizing what Clarke just said. “You do not want to marry me.”

“Like I said, there are many things that I need to consider, and right now I think that we might find better support elsewhere. I cannot afford things like love getting in the way.”

“I should go now,” Lexa said and moved to the door, but paused. “Do you not think that we owe it to ourselves to give it a try? To our families? Our people?”

“Like I said,” Clarke said. “I cannot afford feelings to get in the way. I have France to think about.”

“And I have Scotland,” Lexa said and whirled around. “This marrige,  _ this alliance, _ my country hav counted on for support and for safety for years, and now you are saying that it was all a lie?”

“I am just saying that I have to consider all of my options. But, it is not my choice, it is my fathers.”

“But if you could choose, you would choose another one. I got it.”

* * *

 

“You have returned here at court at your own queen’s bidding. As her noble ladies, you must council her, prepare her, account for her.”

Lexa sat in an armchair with her head filled with hers and Clarke’s conversation whilst a servant informed her friends of their duties. Or, well, her laides now. Because they were here to serve her, that was true. But they all knew that their bond was stronger than that. Right? Lexa had seen them earlier today, they had been laughing at something, but when she asked what it was they just shrugged. Had their time apart caused their bond with Lexa to faulter? Was their’s tighter than their’s to hers? She shook her head slightly and returned her focus back on the servant and pushed back all of her other thoughts into the back of her mind.

“If you missbehave, you can be sent back to Scotland and will be seen as a disgrace. But only your queen can give that order. Now, which of you speak italian fluently?”

She watched as them all looked at each other before Anya spoke up. “I suppose I am.”

“Good,” the servant said and sighed. “You will be put next to the pope’s cousin, he speak very fast and he has no teeth.”

At that they all exploded with laughter, but the servant only rolled her eyes at them. “Now, get dressed for dinner, and remember the ball!”

She left the room and they all laughed even more when she dissappeared. It echoed and sounded like music to Lexa, it was a long time ago when she heard laughter like their’s. Soon they were all sitting down and clutching their stomach’s for over use, and Lexa smiled at them.

“Lexa,” Raven said and smirked at her. “Did you  _ see _ how Clarke looked? I mean, W-O-W,” she said and made Lexa blush. “If you were not already engaged to her, I would be crawling at her feet.”

“Oh stop it,” Lexa waved away. “But yes, she looks quite stunning.” She might as well act as if nothing happened between the two of them earlier, she didn’t want to worry her friends.

“Quite? Lexa, what happened to you? You never used to use words like ‘quite’.”

“I grew up Raven,” she said and the comment drew out a few sniggers from the other. “Now, what should we wear to this dance. Any thought?”

“Oh yes,” Octavia said and smirked. “We will make you look so damn stunning tonight that she will loose it.”

At that Lexa blushed even more, but that only made the other’s laugh. “Oh yes,” Anya said and took Lexa’s hands. “Tonight we will make you the most beautiful one there and Clarke will not be able to look away from you.” On the inside she just wanted to crawl into her bed, but since her attendance was reqired, she just smiled.

And they stuck with their promise. Because two hours later when they had come back from dinner, they started prepping her and soon she was dressed in one of the most beautiful dresses she had ever seen. It was a white color but the fabric made it look like it shimmered in gold. It fit snuggly around her waist and hugs her chest upwards. The skirt fell in waves to the floor from her waist and a pattern that resembled flowers was embedded into it. The arms of the dress went down to her hands and was fastened with a string around her middle finger. Around her hair a golden thick thread with small golden coins was placed and they let her hair fall down her back and shoulders. Her lips had been painted in a dark red color and mascara had been aplied around her eyes and made her eyelashes look a mile long. Her shoes was golden. And she was breathtaking.

“You guys,” Lexa said when they were done. “This dress is amazing.”

“We thought so,” Anya said proudly while she puffed up her skirt. “Now, let Clarke come up to you. Mingle a little with the king and the other guests. Make everyone love you.”

She smiled at her friends and sat down and waited for them to get ready. And they wore everything from strapless beighe dresses to soft brown puffy ones. And Lexa realized that they dressed to match her, but not to outshine her. She thought that was a little unfair, considering that if, for example, Octavia wore one dress that resembled hers she would have both men and women crawling at her feet.

When they all were done Lexa took a deep breath and exited the room with her friends trailing behind her. A guard met up with them and walked them to the ballroom, and Lexa nearly lost her breath when she entered it.

The walls were covered with a soft light from burning candles and someone had decorated the place with small white flowers. On the tables white canvases lay and the food,  _ of the food,  _ looked so delicious. Too bad that she was only allowed to eat so little, if she was just an ordinary guest at this feast she would have stuffed herself with everything she could get her hands on. But sheis the queen of Scotland and she is soon the queen of France she reminded herself of, she had to act like both. So she stepped further into the room and held her head high and couldn’t help but smirk at the quiet gasps she heard when people got a look of her.

She kept her promise to her friends, she didn’t go looking for Clarke. She made her way over to where Abby and Jake sat and bowed her head in respect before looking into their faces.

“Your Grace,” she started and gave them a warm smile. Abby looked at Lexa like she was the bringer of death, but Lexa merely averted her eyes and focused on the king. He was now complementing her laides on what a stunning job they had done with her, and she promised him to say that to them later. After that they dismissed her and she wandered around a little in the crowd, but then stopped dead in her tracks.

Clarke stood a couple of yards away, talking to her bastard brother, Wells, and Lexa had to remind herself of how to breathe. Even though they had the argument before, she still managed to leave her gasping for air.

Clarke had on a deep red dress that fell in waves to the floor from her waist, and her hair flowed like a golden curtain down her back. Her lips had been painted red and around her neck lay a golden chain. She looked so stunning that she didn’t notice the man that walked up to her until he started speaking with her.

“Your Grace,” he said and bowed, and Lexa tore her eyes away from Clarke. “I have been asked to deliver this to you,” he said and presented a cup with a dark red subsence.

“From whom?” she asked, eyeing the man who quickly averted his eyes to the ground. He was only a servant she noticed.

“From Wells Jaha, your Grace,” he said and Lexa sighed. She took the cup and thanked the servant who practically ran from her after that and she would have laughed if it wasn’t for the fact that Wells never had offered her a drink before. She searched for him, but couldn’t find him. She shook her head and put away the cup, not wanting the drink if she didn’t get an explanation first.

“What was that about?” she heard Indra ask her. She had somehow slipped in beside her without Lexa noticing so she jumped a little, but decided not to acknowledge that.

“Wells Jaha offered me a drink,” she said, still searching the room.

“That was unexpected,” she said and her tone confirmed her own suspicions.

“What do you think?” Lexa said.

“I do not know, but I advise you to not take any other drinks from anyone who is not there to give them themselves.” Lexa nodded and gave Indra a quick smile before returning to walk the floor. At one point she caught Clarke’s eye, but before she could even smile, Clarke averted her eyes. Lexa stood there a little confused, but after a moment she shook her head and looked at the bid clock on the wall. It showed that it was half past nine, so she still had to be here for half an hour or so before she could politely slip away and sink underneath the covers of her warm and comfy bed that would have been readied for her return.

A hand slipped inside of hers and when she turned around she saw Raven’s amused smile. She caught up with her plan a moment to late, because she was already being dragged out onto the dance floor by her and her friends.

“Raven!” she laughed and looked over to her other side when she felt Anya’s hand in hers.

“Come on, we haven’t danced in  _ forever,”  _ Octavia exclaimed and soon all the other guests had turned their attention onto them instead of their conversations. Lexa only shook her head but let herself be dragged along when they started to dance in a circle. Their laughter filled the ballroom and now the music had changed to a more upbeat tempo and Lexa couldn’t help the smile that touched her lips.

She caught Clarke’s gaze and saw her shaking her head with an unreadable facial expression. Lexa stopped dancing when Clarke motioned for her to follow her. She wriggled out of her friends grasps and said that she would be back soon.

Once she was out of the ball room, she found Clarke standing by the end of a corridor. “Clarke?” she asked questionally and stepped closer to her, but she could now see that Clarke was annoyed. 

“There is something that I have been wanting to say to you,” she said and Lexa nodded for her to continue. “I just want to clarify something. I am sorry about how I presented things back at my studio, but they are true. As I said, I should have been more considerate. But no decision has been made, we might still end up married.”

That made Lexa take a deep breath. How could she say it so causially? 

“I understand that you have a country soon to look after, and I forgive you, but you have to understand that I already am queen of one. I cannot just sit here and wait for you and your father to make a decision based upon your believes.”

“I am truly sorry for this Lexa,” Clarke said, and in her eyes, someting had changed, was it pity? Lexa didn’t stay to find out.

She turned and walked back into the ball room, leaving Clarke behind to her own thoughts. She hadn’t asked for this. She had come back here believing that she would soon be married to Clarke, to ensure her people the safety they where promised so long ago, only to find out that it may not be such a thing for her here. But if Clarke didn’t believe that Scotland would be an asset to France, she would prove her wrong.

* * *

 

After the feast her ladies followed her to her room and bid her a goodnight before they walked away to their room that was across the hall, and Lexa easily slipped out of her dress and removed her makeup before she took on her nightdress and climbed in under the covers. Her head had barely touched her pillow before she was asleep.

But she wasn’t asleep for long.

She felt someone yank at the cover of her bed and she opened her eyes with a gasp. But the sight that met her, she wasn’t prepared for that. It was the servant, the same one that had delivered her a drink on the feast, and right now he was climbing up her bed and positioning himself ontop of her.

Lexa’s heartbeat started to race and she screamed. “Guards!,” she screamed and locked eyes with the servant. He had stilled in his movements and he looked so surprised, but why would he look surprised by the way of her reaction? Did he think that she would enjoy this? lexa certainly didn’t.

“Please,” she pleaded. “Please do not do this!” She hated pleading, but right now she didn’t care. All that she cared about right now was getting him off of her.

“Guards!” she yelled again, but her slammed a fist into her throat that cut off her scream and now she was in danger of panicking. But right in that moment four guards lept in and two of them sprinted forward and started to restrain him. Lexa only drew her covers around her and she could already feel the shaking in her body begin. 

When he was wrestled to the ground by three of the guards one of them had his eye on her.

“What happened, your Grace?” Lexa just shook her head and stared at the boy.

“He just came in here and,” she was cut off by a girl’s scream.

“Finn!”

It was Raven. All the girls were at her door, and Raven looked at the boy like they were the only two people in the room. All of the other’s had taken hold of Raven’s body as she started to make her way towards him, but the guards had other plans. They slung him between them and started to carry him out the door. One of them had knocked him unconcius so he couldn’t hear Raven’s protest.

“Lexa,” Octavia said and walked over to her and took her shaking hands. “What happened?”

“I do not know,” she said, her voice uneaven and with her eyes stuck at Raven. “He just came in here and started pulling at my cover, he was going to attack me! but that’s not even the most confusing part about this,” she said. Now she’d gotten everyone’s attention.

“What do you mean?” Indra said seriously and stopped to stand beside Octavia.

“He looked so surprised when I faught back, like he didn’t anticipate for me to even wake up. But why would he be surprised that I would wake when he was attacking me?”

The shaking had not stopped and now a thin layer of sweat covered her skin. Octavia rubbed small circles over the back of her hand with her thumb, that did help a little, but not much. Anya had come to sit beside her and Raven had chosen the chair by the door.

“How could he do that?” she had asked herself multiple times since they brought out him. “He doesn’t even work here, I met him back in Scotland!”

Lexa just shook her head. SOmething wasn’t right about this, and she was going to figure out why.

* * *

 

In the morning, news had spread about the attack and wherever Lexa went, stares followed. But what bothered her was Clarke. She hadn’t even come to see if she was okay.

If it was Clarke being attacked, Lexa would rush to her side, even though they had had an argument the night before, just to make sure that she was okay and that bastard was locked up for good. But apparently, Clarke didn’t feel the same. 

These thoughts weren’t any good for her, especially when she was about to do something that she had to strong for. She couldn’t let herself be weak now. So she shook those out of her head and walked with more purpose into the room in which the thrones were seated and the king and queen where present.

“Lexa,” Jake said a bit surprised but let her come into the room. “We had expected you to take it easy today, after the night’s events,” he said with a considerate look. But Lexa only shook her head.

“No, your Grace. I am here to seek premission to speak with Finn.”

“You want to  _ talk  _ to the man who attacked you?” Abby said, and in her voice I could hear nothing but disgust. “Do you know how that would affect your image if this ever was heard by the wrong ears?”

“Yes, I do understand, but I need to speak with him. I believe he is innocent, that he was somehow forced. He is the love of one of my best friends life and I will find out why he did it.”

“I am sorry Lexa, but you must understand that this was an act of treason. We believe that he was involved in an english plot, to take your virginity and make it impossible for you to marry my child, or anyone for that matter.”

“Yes I do understand that, but as his queen I demand to speak with him. Finn comes from Scotland, I do not have any idea on why he came here, but the last time my friend saw him was back in Scotland. So I will ask again, can I speak with him?”

A silence stretched over them for a moment before Jake spoke. “I am sorry Lexa, but because of the act of treason, we beheaded him this morning. We had no idea that you might wanted to speak with him, but I will not apologize for following protocol.”

Lexa stood there, her hands was formed into fists, and all she could concentrate on was her breathing. “The next time you decide to execute one of  _ my _ people,” she said through her teeth, “I will be informed and you will need to have my premission. Is that understood?”

Jake looked at her a moment before giving her a stiff smile. “Of course, your Grace.” At that Lexa turned around and walked out of the room, closing her eyes briefly because of what she now had to tell Raven.

* * *

 

“Well?” Raven asked as soon as she stepped into their room. “What did they say? Can you speak with them?” Her eyes shone of unshead tears and Lexa had to swallow before she could utter her next sentence.

“Raven, I am so sorry, but I was too late. They executed Finn this morning.”

That was all it took. I single tear rolled down Raven’s cheek and she took a stumbling step back and clutched at Octavia’s hand. “He was not a traitor,” she choked. “He was not a rapist.” She choked down another sob, but continued to stare at her so she felt obligated to give a further explanation.

“They said that he was involved in an english plot,” she said. “I do not now who to believe or to trust, please Raven, I am so sorry.”

“You are the reason that he is dead,” Raven said and took a step forward. “Anyone close to you is in danger! We are here at your bidding, but we are just here as your servants.”

“You are my friends,” Lexa said weakly, but Raven’s words hit her right in her heart, and after what Clarke had just told her she had a hard time handling this.

“No,” Raven said harshly. “Octavia is my friend. Indra and Anya are my friends. You are my queen and we are disposable.”

“No,” Lexa said. “I will protect you-”

“How? You cannot even protect yourself”

“I will do better, I promise!”

But after that Raven’s energy seemed to have seeped out because she sunk down on the chair behind her and clutched Anya’s outstretched hands. The sound that escaped her lips made Lexa’s heart cringe, but she made no move to go forward. Raven needed space, so Lexa just nodded her head and went out the room. 

Lexa needed air, it felt like she was suffocating in this stone castle, so she quickly made herself go outside, and she didn’t stop before she reached the ocean.

She only stood there for a few minutes before she heard someone walking towards her. And she didn’t have to wait long to find out either, becasue a moment later, Clarke’s voice rang out into the air.

“Why did you defend a boy they found in your bed? What was he doing there?” Her tone was angry, but she didn’t care. She just sighed. “You can tell me,” she pushed, “But I think I know already.”

“You think I was with him to get back at you?” Lexa asked her in surprise. Did Clarke really think that low of her?

“I think that you are impulsive and recless-”

“He’s dead,” I cut her off. “Just leave it be, Clarke.”

But Clarke took a step forward and grabbed her arm. “You cannot behave like this, not here at court. Do you not see of what’s at stake?”

“Beacuse we are engaged? But you have no intention of marrying me. Do the others know? Or should I tell them?”

“You would not do that,” Clarke said and took a step closer. “because we might still get married.”

“I am sick of hearing “someday”, “maybe”, “If”-”

“You said that you had a contry to think about? Were you thinking of that for even one second during any of this?”

“I was thinking about myself. My safety, my friends.”

“You could have ruined your reputation so that I could not marry you, even if things go as we want them to.”

At that Lexa stilled. She looked at Clarke who looked back at her. “As “we” want them to? And how would “we” want things to go?” And this time, it was Lexa who took a step forward, and they were just inches apart. “If I were just a normal girl, not a queen of anything, and you were just a normal girl, not the future queen of France, would you want this?”

At that Clarke’s eyes fluttered down to Lexa’s lips and leaned in a bit, and Lexa held her breath. She saw Clarke’s eyelids close for a second before they snapped open again. “I can’t Lexa,” she aid with a husky voice.

“Why?”

She didn’t get an answer. Clarke was out of her sight before she had time to blink. But Lexa now knew one thing. Clarke wanted this, and that thought alone gave her more hope that she had had in the last couple of days. But why did she argue about not wanting this, when she clearly did? Something wasn’t right, and Lexa was going to figure it out before it was too late.


	3. The Never Ending Day

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Can you believe that season 3 premiers only THREE DAYS from now?! Me neither, it felt as if I have waited forever. 
> 
> Anyways, here's a brand new chapter of Heart of Courage, hope you all like it!
> 
> Enjoy! - fantasycloud :)

The events that had happened that day had made Lexa realize that this was no paradise. Just because she was queen didn’t mean that she was safe. Someone wanted her dead, badly. First her poisoned food at the convent, and now Finn’s attack? What’s next, will someone try to drown her when she takes a bath?

No, this couldn’t go on any further. She couldn’t be this weak.

And after that, her decision was easy. She wanted to learn and defend herself, but who would she turn to? No to Clarke, she didn’t want her to be dragged into this. One of the guards? maybe, but what if one of them was involved with one of the attempts on her life? 

She sighed and lowered her head into her hands. She was sitting in her room with her back against the wall. It was well into the night, but there was to many thoughts in her head that kept her up. She knew that tomorrow there would probably be dark circles under her eyes, but right now she didn’t care. All she wanted was a solution. As much as she wanted her life to be normal, without murder attempts or a royal title, she was queen. She couldn’t just act as if everything was normal. 

England was after her head, she knew that for sure. They wanted her dead so that they could take her country. Someone inside these walls wanted her dead, she was sure of that too, but she didn’t know why. Was it because of what Clarke said? That France didn’t need Scotland? That this alliance would destroy France? Or was it because of something entirely different?

A knock on the door brought her out of her deep thoughts. “Who is it?” she asked and stood up, stretching out her sore back from sitting in the same position for hours.

“It’s Anya and Indra,” she heard Anya’s voice. She let out a breath she didn’t know that she had been holding and went to open the doors. In came, fully clothed, her friends with serious looks on their faces.

“What are you doing here? Why are you not asleep?” Lexa asked and looked at them. “And how is… How is Raven?” 

“Raven will live,” Anya said. “But you will not if you do not do something about this. How could you let that boy attack you?”

Lexa was stunned, but something about their fierce fire in their eyes made her answer. “I could not do it, I did not know how.”

“No training in the convent, huh?” Indra said and looked at Anya. She saw them nod and then they looked back at Lexa. “Back in Scotland, Anya and me started learning how to fight. Someone back there thought that it might come in handy. They said that you might be in danger, that you needed someone you trusted to train you.”

“Wait,” Lexa said and looked at Indra. “Someone told you this? Who?”

“His name is Gustus, a highly ranked guard, one of your mothers. He had picked up things from his journeys through England he said, plans about killing you. But more importantly, even if Finn failed, the next one might not. So, he taught us how to fight, and now we are going to teach you.”

“Where is he now? Gustus, I mean.”

“He is on a boat that will reach the French coastline in a matter of days. He was sent here by your mother, approved by the king. Look, when he gets here, you will be able to train more with him, but for now me and Anya will train you.”

Lexa looked at both of them and for the first time since she set her foot in the French court, she felt a spark of hope. Maybe she would be able to live safely here after all.

* * *

 

The following day Lexa woke up to a knock on the door. She looked out the window, the sun was way up and she had slept in, involuntarily. She sighed and threw her covers away and looked down on herself. She was in her white nightgown and her feet was bare so she slung a heavy robe over her shoulders before she went to open the door. Outside stood, to Lexa’s surprise, Clarke.

“Clarke?”

“I know, I just,” she rambled and went in. Lexa just stood there, surprised, in the doorway. She hadn’t expected Clarke willingly seeing her again after yesterday. But, apparently she was wrong. 

“I have no idea of what I am doing here to be honest, but I was just wandering until I came here and then I was thinking on how I just walked out on you yesterday-”

“Clarke,” Lexa broke her off and walked over to her. She put her hands on her shoulders and looked into her eyes. “Calm down.” She saw her take a deep breath and nodded shortly after that. Lexa removed her hands and took a step back, and she was again surprised to see something else flood Clarke’s expression. Was it disappointment? But she stuffed those thoughts away, it was Clarke’s turn to come to her, not the other way around.

Lexa tried to hide a yawn, but Clarke saw it from a mile away. “I woke you up, did I not? I am sorry Lexa, I did not think this through properly.”

“Clarke, please stop rambling. I am fine, thank you for asking and I do not mind that you woke me up, I should have been up a while ago anyway.” She walked around Clarke and ran a hand through her hair. “So, what are you going to do today? Why are you so dressed up?”

She had on a soft pink dress that made her blonde hair look golden and somehow made her look younger. It fit snugly at her waist and it was cut so that you could see her cleavage and Lexa had a hard time looking away.

“Well, today is the spring celebration. Our presence is required Lexa, has no one told you?” Lexa groaned and shook her head. Clarke let out a soft laugh and walked up to her. “I am sure that your ladies want to start reading you,” she said and held out her hand.

“Only yesterday you seemed to hate me,” Lexa said slowly, but put her hand in Clarke’s and tried to ignore the spark of electricity that went through them. “How come that you are so nice to me now? What has changed?”

Clarke seemed to think for a moment and led her over to her chair where her friends put on her makeup. “The way I treated you yesterday was wrong. And I would like to think that we can still be friends, even if things go as planned. And if we are to be married, friends is a good place to start.”

_ Friends.  _ The word stung a bit in Lexa’s heart, but she smiled and nodded. If she wanted to stop being weak, she had to start somewhere. “I agree. Friends is a good place to start.” Lexa smiled at her in the mirror and Clarke returned it before she called out. “Enter!”

In came her friends and put themselves against the wall that faced the windows behind Lexa.

“I found them waiting outside your door, I asked to speak with you first,” Clarke said and Lexa nodded. “I see you in a bit, I will be outside, and I believe you will figure out where.” She winked at her and walked out, leaving a stunned Lexa behind.

When Clarke had left the room, a low whistle was heard from Anya. “What was that about?”

“Nothing,” Lexa quickly said, but at her friends playful glare she sighed and turned around slightly. “She wants us to be friends.”

“Ouch.”

“I am fine,” Lexa said and ignored the others eye rolls. “Raven,” Lexa began and stood up and faced her. She walked up to her and gently took her hands. “I am truly sorry about Finn’s death. I never meant for you to suffer.”

But Raven didn’t start crying or didn’t try o hit her. She looked at Octavia who nodded and she took a deep breath.

“I believe you Lexa, and I am sorry for what I said earlier. But I am afraid that you got wrong information.” When Lexa’s confusion showed, Raven sighed and now a fire had started in her eyes. “I bribed a guard, the one who held Finn, and he said that he said the same thing over and over again. “One of the highly ranked people in the castle had forced him.” Lexa, it was not some english plot against you, it was someone  _ here _ .” 

Lexa paused when she heard this. Someone here? “But, why?” But then Clarke’s words started seeping into her brain.  _ Well do you see my parents pushing for a wedding?  _ “Oh my god,” Lexa said to herself, but of course the others picked up on it.

“What?”

Suddenly Lexa remembered to who she was speaking with and she quickly let go of the subject.

“I have to get ready for the celebration,” she said with as much conviction as she could muster. She couldn’t let them know, these suspicions are dangerous for them to hear, for them to remain safe if this took a bad turn, then they had to know nothing.

“What, Lexa, come one,” Octavia said but Lexa looked her directly into her eyes. 

“No, this is dangerous. We might as well change the subject when we still can, until I know for sure, this has to stay with me.” That seemed to shut them up, because nothing more was said. Instead her dress was brought in and she was ushered into it. This one was light green, that in Raven’s opinion would “Bring out my eyes”. Lexa only rolled her eyes, but the dress was beautiful so she didn’t complain. To that she wore white flats, a small silver chain with a green stone was placed around her neck and in her head they had braided a small crown into her hair. 

“There, no offense but screw Clarke and her “let’s be friends” speech, I will make you look so damn good that she won’t be able to keep her hands to herself,” Octavia said with a proud grin.

“Octavia,” Lexa exclaimed but laughed along. “You done?”

They all nodded and laughed. 

Half and hour later she walked out the castle door and smiled when she felt the sun on her face. She only arrived yesterday, but it felt like ages ago. Like the time she spent at the convent never took place.

She looked around and remembered Clarke’s line about her knowing where to find her, and a small smile appeared on her lips. She knew exactly where to find her.

She reached their tree in much shorter time that she had anticipated, but she now ran the all too familiar way there on her grown up legs instead of her nine year old ones, so that explained it. She caught a glimpse of a pink skirt behind the trunk of the tree and smiled. When she reached it, she rounded it and nearly laughed at Clarke when she jumped a little bit.

“Geez Lexa, do not scare me like that.”

“Clarke, I just walked around a tree.” Clarke turned her head towards her and laughed, but stopped when she laid her eyes on Lexa. She eyed her body and Lexa could see her visibly swallow. 

“You look nice,” she said and Lexa smiled when she heard the slight shiver in her tone. Well, Octavia was right after all.

“You too,” she said and sat down on the grass. “Clarke, why did you choose to be here when the rest of the celebration is up at the castle?”

“I do not know, I guess that I wanted to spend some time with you,” she said and sat down beside her. “I believe we have some catching up to do,” she added with a grin and Lexa couldn’t help but to return it. Talking with Clarke was easy and it reminded her of their childhood friendship when they always smiled and laughed. 

They remained at the tree for almost two hours and all they did was talk about the past. Lexa learned that Clarke played piano and guitar, she could speak french, italian and spanish and she had her own horse who apparently was named after her.

“Why would you name a horse after me?” Lexa had laughed. Clarke just shrugged her shoulders. “I got her a couple of months after you left and she had some of your personalities, to name her after you was the obvious choice.” After that Clarke promised to introduce her to her animal self sometime, and Lexa was actually a bit curious about her.

It was really hard to stop talking when they had started, but when they had passed the two hour mark they heard someone walking towards them, and when Lexa saw who it was she couldn’t help but to sprint into his arms.

“Lincoln!”

“Hey Lexa,” he laughed and gave her one of his famous bear hugs. “or should I finally start calling you, your Grace? Or, why not your Majesty?”

“Do not be silly,” she laughed and punched his arm. “To you I will always be Lexa.” When she pulled back and got a look at him, she whistled. “Wow Lincoln, you have grown quite a bit.”

“Quite? Lexa, you never used to use words like “quite”,” he laughed and Lexa only rolled her eyes. 

“That was exactly what Raven said,” she muttered and turned when she heard a laugh. 

“I am sorry,” Clarke said. “But it is true. That convent really did the trick, huh?”

lexa only shook her head at them and suddenly she was nine again, out playing and messing with her friends. She had forgotten what is was like, the constant picking and teasing, the laughing and the smart comebacks. She looked at her childhood friends and looked at them with such pure joy that they stopped laughing and just looked her.

“Lexa?” Clarke said, but Lexa just shook her head.

“It is just so good to be back. I have missed this,” she said and gestured to them with her hand. “I have missed you.” She didn’t continue her speech because she was cut off by Clarke and Lincoln who had decided to give her one of their famous group hugs.

“Aw Lex, we’ve missed you too. Hanging out with blondie all the time haven’t been fun,” Lincoln jokingly said, but soon a low grunt was heard from him when he received Clarke’s comeback. “Kidding.”

Lexa only laughed and hugged them tighter and in that moment she had forgotten all about being strong. She could afford one weak moment with her friends. Right?

* * *

 

When they finally walked back to the celebration, the food had been brought out and she saw children dancing on the grass. lincoln had to go back to the kitchen, but that didn’t stop lexa and Clarke for walking around the lawn. The air smelled of sweet flowers and the salt sea, but something made Lexa tense up. And it wasn’t a cold breeze.

Abby was watching them from across the field with her eyes set on Lexa, and if looks good kill. Lexa turned her gaze elsewhere and fixed them on the children but in her mind all she saw was that piercing stare. Wait… Finn said that he had been forced be someone with high rank here in the castle. But it couldn’t be. It surely wasn’t Abby? Abby had been as an extra mother to her. But at a second thought, she hadn’t smiled, greeted or said a kind thing to her since she arrived.

“Lexa?”

She looked up and stared right into Clarke’s eyes. She looked at her with concern in her eyes, but lexa waved her off. No reason to give her her suspicions when they’ve just become friends again, not until she was sure of her suspicions she would speak them out loud.

“Sorry, lost in thoughts.”

Clarke eyed her once more, but nodded and stood beside her to watch the feast. But soon enough, Clarke spoke.

“I know when something is bothering you. You can talk to me.”

Lexa sighed. “No, I cannot.”

“Please Lexa,” Clarke said and took her hand. “I just want to help. Plus I sort of owe you for the way I acted yesterday.”

“Do you really want to hear it? You may not like what I am about to tell you.”

“As I said, I want to help you.”

“If I do tell you, do you promise not to raise your voice?”

“Yes.”

Lexa looked at her, but sighed in defeat.

“I spoke with Raven this morning and apparently, she had bribed the guard that held Finn. He said that Finn told him over and over again that he was forced to attack me by someone who lived here at French court with a high rank.” When she spoke, she had her eyes on Abby who now was talking to one of the servants. She heard Clarke’s surprise, she inhaled deeply, but as she promised, she didn’t get mad.

“Someone highly ranked? As in my parents?” Lexa nodded once. “But my father would never… He loves you, you know that right? But why… Oh. You are talking about my mother.”

Lexa’s silence answered her question. 

“Lexa, are you sure?”

“No, but I am not  _ not  _ sure either. She has not exactly been the warmest since my arrival.”

“I see that but that does not mean that she want you dead.”

“Are you defending her?”

Clarke looked like she was torn, but Lexa couldn’t help her question. She needed to know where Clarke stood, either with her, or her mother.

“Lexa, she is my mother, can you blame me if I would? But no, I am not saying anything right now. The only thing that I will point out though is that you cannot voice any of your suspicions without proof.”

“I know that,” Lexa said and turned to Clarke. “But how? The only man that could help is dead.”

“I know-”

“Clarke, if I do not find out who wants me dead I have to leave. I cannot lead my country if I am dead.”

“I  _ know,  _ Lexa! And I promise you that I will help find out whoever that is.”

Clarke looked so intensely at Lexa in that moment that she believed her. She saw the promise behind her words in Clarke’s eyes, and she truly hoped that it wasn’t Abby, because what happen to them if Abby was found guilty? Abby was her family after all, her mother. Lexa was only someone that she maybe would be married to someday. Who meant more to her?

* * *

 

“Okay Lexa, first lesson. As a queen, you can not let your heart get involved when you are to make a decision about your country. To rule you need to have a clear head.”

After Clarke had left Lexa it didn’t take long for Anya to come and stand beside Lexa.

“Anya, what are you doing?”

“I am teaching my queen how to be stronger. As you wanted me to,” she said and looked at her.

“When I said that I meant in private,” Lexa said and looked straight forward. “Someone might overhear.”

Anya ignored that. “Whatever you feel for Clarke, you have to make the right decision for Scotland. You know that, right?”

Lexa glanced her way. “Yes. But it is more complicated than that. Clarke and I have been engaged since we were six, our country was promised an alliance that would help us.”

“Do you see them helping? Lexa, the english troops are at our gates and soon they will have broken into the castle and killed your mother and put her head on a spike. You cannot afford to wait any longer, we need help, and you know it too. Otherwise, it will be your head next, you know that.”

After that Anya walked away, leaving Lexa to her own thoughts. It pained her that it had to be one of her ladies that had to tell her the truth. Because that was what it was. It was true that the english want her and her mother dead, but she had yet to admit to herself that it was this serious. She had fooled herself into thinking that she had time here. But it was clear to her now that she couldn’t wait any longer. She needed someone who protected Scotland, and that was not France.

* * *

 

The feast continued within the castle walls where all guest were protected from the still somewhat cold winds. Inside the castle glowed, caused by both the candles and the sun’s last golden strays. It was beautiful, no doubt, and it had been Lexa’s view, Lexa’s  _ home,  _ for as long as she could remember. She didn’t have any clear memory of Scotland, only pieces. She came here when she was six, she couldn’t believe that she was prepared to leave it. but as Anya said, she couldn’t let her heart get in the way. She was determined to take Anya’s words seriously, she wanted to be a strong queen. A queen her people could rely on, a queen on which her country would be proud of. The only way of being just that was making the right decisions for  _ Scotland,  _ not herself.

She stood at the side of the dancing floor and watched everyone’s smiles, praying that whatever choice she would make, that she would eventually have one of those as well. One thing that truly worried her though was what if making all of these sacrifices, losing Clarke, leaving her home, putting her needs last, what if she would come to resent her people who demanded so much of her? But she quickly banned those thoughts, they were forbidden. Her people meant everything for her, she truly felt that with all of her heart. But unfortunately a piece of her heart also belong to Clarke, what would it take for her to get it back? If she wanted to be a good ruler, her whole heart must be dedicated to her people, otherwise her judgment would be clouded and she would never in a million years trust someone with a clouded mind, so what would she have to do to not become what she wouldn’t even trust?

The questions just went on and on in her head, she had nearly forgotten about Finn, even though it happened less than twenty-four hours ago. It has not yet been two days since she arrived and more things had happened here in that time than all of her time in the convent, and she was there for six  _ years.  _

Suddenly, Clarke appeared at her side and held out her hand. “Would you care for a dance?” Lexa raised one eyebrow at her, but bowed her neck a little before taking her arm and was led onto the middle of the floor. This was a familiar position for them, they had danced for hours when they were children and it seemed as if their bodies remembered everything, because Lexa’s hands were already in position, one on Clarke’s waist and one stretched out for Clarke’s hand to grasp. Clarke smiled at this Lexa spotted. “You remembered.”

“I could not have forgotten even if I wanted to,” Lexa said, but almost kicked herself for letting that out. She was supposed to guard her heart, not setting it free. But Clarke just smiled and let Lexa lead her. The music had changed somewhat now that the two soon to be queens of France were dancing and the people had stepped aside.

They moved around the room like a perfect matched set, as if Lexa was dancing with her own shadow. They knew each other so well, always knowing which way they were going, always knowing every move. Lexa barely had to guide Clarke, they both knew this as if this was second nature to them. 

They twirled gracefully around the dance floor for what seemed like hours, hours of blue meeting green, hours of testing each other's memories, hours of being torn between her head and her heart. She would do  _ anything  _ to have an option where Clarke and herself could live happily ever after, she would pay any price. But since this was not a fairytale and they were not children, those dreams were nothing but silly and a waste of energy.

When the song finally ended, Lexa could have sworn that they replayed the verse at least the double amount of times, they curtsied for each other followed by an applause from the audience they didn’t noticed were there, but smiled at them as well.

“Wow,” Clarke suddenly said.

Lexa surprised herself to say “I know,” before she could stop herself. She shook her smile off her face and tried to put her mask on, but Clarke grasped her hand.

“Lexa, stop. You cannot hide from me. You can smile and still be a queen.”

“No, I cannot Clarke. I cannot stand here and smile and pretend as if everything is normal when it is not. Excuse me,” she said and tried her hardest to not look at her wounded look in her eyes. But the truth was, Lexa couldn’t stand there and smile because it hurt to much. She couldn’t just dance with her and be called her friend. Lexa still loved Clare, how couldn’t she see that? 

And that was the reason that she had to stay away from her as well. Those feelings was the barricade that held her back from letting go of this place. Because it wasn’t the castle that was her home, it was Clarke.

* * *

 

Lexa had ever since her dance with Clarke kept in the background, avoiding the people but not running from them who encountered her. She just didn’t walk around, but somehow the prince still saw her.

“Your Majesty,” Quint said and bowed. “I was hoping to see you.”

“Prince Quint,” Lexa greeted and bowed her head. “What can I do for you?”

“That is just the thing, your Majesty. I was wondering if  _ I _ could help  _ you.” _ Lexa furrowed her brows.

“Help me? With what?”

“I have heard that a date is not yet set for your wedding,” he said, but paused when he saw the stormy look in Lexa’s eyes. “Well,” he said after a second, “that usually means trouble. And I just want to let you know that if the King of France decides against it, then me and my father, the King of Portugal, is happy to form an alliance with Scotland. We have grain, enough of soldiers to send there and still protect our country and a lot of money. A much better deal than this,” he said and gestured around the room. 

“Are you proposing to me?”

“Would you want me to propose to you?”

“No,” she answered without having to think about it, making him flinch.

“Ouch,” he said and pretended to rub his sore heart. “Well, it is one thing that I can promise. Soon you will realize that you neither have France’s protection nor help, and then you will see reason.” 

After that he bowed his head again and left with his two guards that followed. Lexa sucked in a sharp breath and looked around. No one seemed to have heard, but it was still the castle. Ears could be bought by everyone and they were everywhere. Lexa took a moment to think about the prince’s proposal. Did she want it? No. Not even the slightest. Did her country need it? Yes.

Yes. It felt as if someone had punched her in the stomach. If her country was in need of it, then she had to take his offer. It was true, what he said. She didn’t have France’s protection nor help. Not one ship of soldiers had been sent there way and she nearly had been murdered twice in this castle. When she realized this, the thought of this being her home faltered a little. 

But she didn’t have time to catch her breath all too long, because only seconds after he left a new man arrived. With the english crest sewn on his shirt.

“Your Majesty,” he said and came to a stop in front of her. “What are you doing here in the back when the celebration is in the center, hm?”

“I enjoy watching from afar,” Lexa countered back without letting go of him with her eyes. But he stood his ground. “I see that you are from England?”

“Yes, but I reside in France. I often stay here at court, call me Carl. Now, let us be friends, and not the sort of friends as the Frenchmen. Those sort of friends only that tell each other what they want to hear. No, we can share everything.”

Lexa knew that she should turn her back at him and walk away, but why would he come up to her and say that without a motive? So she nodded her head once and replied with a short “yes”.

“Good,” Carl said, but his expression turned serious quickly after that. “How is your engagement to Clarke?”

While Lexa’s insides turned to ice, she smiled and said “Quite well. We are very happy.”

“Then why have you not set a date? Most kings and queens marry when they come of age,” he said and suddenly his gaz was wandering over her body. “And by the looks of you, you are of age. You should be married” Lexa only stared at him. “France’s commitment to Scotland is hollow. Do you really think that France would help Scotland if they needed it?”

Even though Lexa knew the truth she straight up lied to him. “Yes I believe that is the very definition of an alliance. But you knew that. Why are you here Carl?” Anything to make him disappear. 

“I am only going to say this once,” he said and his tone was now dripping with ice. “Pack your things and your pretty little friends and go back to Scotland, you are not going to find what you are looking for here.”

“I am not going anywhere,” Lexa said with such force that she saw a bit of emotion flicker in his eyes. But his mask was put on fast.

“The nuns raised a brave girl,” he said and then a glint of a smile that never reached his eyes touched his lips. “You were sent there for your protection. If I may ask, how was the porridge at the convent? We thought it needed a little bit of seasoning.”

Lexa’s eyes widened and suddenly flashes of that morning came rushing through her mind. How sister Juliette choked on her own blood and how she was yanked from the convent. She looked up at him again, but her body was hit by a warm wall and she heard the sound of laughing.

“Carl,” Clarke laughed with her arm around Lexa’s waist. “Back at court? Lexa,” she said and tightened her grip around her waist. “Thank god I found you, One of the lords have had seven glasses of wine, we must have one ourselves every time he hiccups or burps.” She said and shook her glass a little. She then pulled Lexa a little to the right and looked at Carl again. “Excuse us,” she said and pushed her glass into his hand.

When they had gotten a bit further Clarke pushed Lexa up on the wall and put her hands on either side of her body. Lexa immediately felt trapped and tried to free herself, but Clarke stopped her by putting a hand on her stomach.

“No, do not try to push me away. Lexa, what did he say to you?”

“He said that he tried to poison me at the convent,” she gasped and hated how her voice sounded. Weak.

“That was probably just rumors,” Clarke said and removed her hand but put it on the side of Lexa’s face. “You are shaking, you cannot show them that you are scared.” She took a deep breath for Lexa to mimic and soon all her focus was on that.

“How?”

“Trust me, trust France,” she simply said.

“But I cannot trust France. No soldiers have been sent our way and you know that the english threaten our borders. You have said that you and your father are considering all of your options. That makes me very unsafe here, people are noticing that we have not set a date yet.”

“Lexa, whatever happens, you have our protection-”

“But I do not,” she said before Clarke could finish. “Clarke, I was nearly murdered here twice and you have not sent help for Scotland. They know it.”

“Well,” Clarke said and stroked the side of her cheek. “Then we just have to make them believe that you do have it for as long as it needs to be believed.” Then she stepped back and help out her hand. “Can you do this?”

Lexa’s eyes locked with Clarke’s. They shone of determination and calmness, making Lexa nod. “Absolutely. Can you?”  _ Can you make them believe? Can you protect me? Can you even make  _ me _ believe?  _ Lexa hoped that Clarke understood the underlying questions when she saw a subtle nod. So she took a deep breath and slowly put her hand in hers. The warmth of Clarke’s hand spread through her arm and she noticed that she was walking with more determined steps then before. Clarke made her stronger, she hoped that the same went with Scotland. 

When she came back to her room, it was eleven thirty and she was exhausted. This day was never ending it had felt like and to finally be able to sink beneath the beds covers made her smile and sigh in content. She had just slipped into her nightgown when she heard it. The cracking sound of a door.

“Hello?” She said and looked around the room. “Hello?” But all she received was silence. But something wasn’t right. Suddenly a part of the wall shuddered a little, making Lexa jump. “Hello?” she tried again, but when she didn’t get an answer she swallowed and went up to the shuddering wall. When Lexa pulled it, it opened like a door. 

A secret passageway!

But had one led to her room before? Apparently because here was the evidence. “I know you are there! Show yourself!”

She almost jumped out of her skin when a raspy voice rang out in the air. “No.”

She tried looking through the darkness, but it was impossible. “Who are you?”

“No one you know,” came back. It sounded like a girl, but she wasn’t sure. Her sound echoed on the walls so she didn’t know how far or how close she was either. “But I know you. And your troubles.”

“What?”

“That boy? Finn?”

Silence. “Yeah?” Lexa’s heart was, at this time, shuddering with excitement.

“He is not dead.”

“What? How do you know?”

“I saw him being dragged off to the dungeons. But shortly after that he was led out again, led by a guard. It was a weird guard, the armour looked to big for him. Anyways, he was led to the forest where the guard left him and let him run.”

“Are you sure?” Lexa said back and when she didn’t get an answer she took that as a yes. “Thank you. Do you have a name?”

“Why do you ask?”

“Because I want to know who to thank.”

She waited a few moments.

“Echo,” the voice suddenly said. “My name is Echo.”  _ How fitting,  _ Lexa thought.

“Thank you Echo, truly. You may have just saved my life.”

With Finn to find, he could tell her who wanted her dead. She could finally solve the mystery of who wanted her dead amongst these people. She could finally feel hope of walking out of here alive. And she knew that she had a lot to think about, the prince’s proposal, her promise to Clarke, Finn’s location, but for now that feeling sent her asleep with a smile on her lips. 

Tomorrow began the worrying of everything else.


	4. AUTHOR'S NOTE

I have a question for you guys, and its really simple.

DO YOU WANT ME TO CONTINUE THE STORY?

I know I have been absent a lot and that is because, well, firstly it was because of a ton a schoolwork, then it was because of anxiety and what not, then it was becuase I changed my studie program (I have no idea what it's called in english but I think you'll get the idea), and than it was because I had a lot of catching up to do with my stduies because they were already six weeks into the course and then I've moved and gotten two new families and blablabla... So you see, I haven't forgotten about this story, I've just had a lot on my plate, a lot more than I expected I would and I literally bow down to those who update every week.

I am SO SORRY that I have been, let's be honest, shitty about updates. But sometimes when I do update I don't get comments and since I've never had really good confidence or any sort of respect for myself I've then thought that maybe my story was not very good or childish even, and I see now that I should have just been appreciating the comments I got and continued to write to them at least, even if it were just five people. To those five, I'm deeply sorry. And to all the others of you, I don't blame you for not commenting because I don't always either and I'm sorry.

So, the question remains, should I continue this story or not? If I should now would be a good time to do it because now I'm free of schoolwork for atleast six weeks so I would be able to update more and not rush through the chapters.

Comment your answer and depending on your responses over the coming days I will post the verdict of your choice.

Again, I'm sorry and if I do continue this story I will finish it within my deadline.

Yours sincerely,  
fantasycloud


End file.
